Don't race during weekend nights...

Now, I don't usually race at this time of the night (it's 2:17 where I live and 1:17 servertime as I write this) but I decided to bring some change into my routines. So I called my drivers and told them to report at the pit. Vormisto and Silakka both showed up quickly but Kouhia was nowhere to be seen. I called him again and turns out he was out clubbing and having the time of his life! I reminded him of his duties to this team and told him to report immediately at the team headquarters. Through the beat of the music I heard him say: "Yessir, right away, sir!" Now there's a good lad!


Sure enough, Kouhia showed up after a while, but much to my surprise he was wearing a party hat and had two women, good-looking I might add, on either side! Vormisto and Silakka shook their heads, laughed and remarked: "Seems like even Gin Gonk gets lucky sometimes!" Kouhia just stroked his mustache knowingly and nodded at the two drivers. Then I knew, this was going to be a long night...


The other drivers were getting ready for their qualification runs but Kouhia just kept entertaining his lady companions. 5 minutes before the end of the qualifications Kouhia kissed both girls (for good luck, he told me) and jumped into his Speed Beetle. The women blew kisses at Kouhia as he took off from the pit lane, burning some rubber in the process. What, does the lad think I'm made out of rubber! Have you looked at the prices of tyres lately? Man, those RH 5+ tyres are expensive!


Anyways, Kouhia's qualification run wasn't quite up to par and I confronted him about this. He just mumbled something about "being preoccupied and in seventh heaven" and "just wait till the race, I'll show 'em". Then he disappeared into his personal lounge with the two ladies. I sighed, turned around and saw Vormisto and Silakka playing poker with the mechanics -- and they were losing, even though I saw Silakka pull an ace from his sleeve. I tell you, this team will be the death of me.


Well, on to the races. Vormisto did well, flying through Speedy Triangle's highly complex track at warp seven and taking the win faster than the eye can blink. Aye, that was some mighty fine driving if I ever saw one. The chief mechanic, Helmut, was especially pleased as Vormisto's car only suffered some scratches to the paintwork (which came when he was overtaking the slowest competitors by a lap).


See Race


The champaigne bottle was being passed around the team members as I turned my attention to Silakka's race. Pole position, what could go wrong? Alas, the competition had installed the coveted nitro booster which enabled one car to overtake Silakka right at the beginning. Silakka isn't one to give up without a fight, though, and so he put the pedal to the metal. The result: a last round overtake and yet another champaigne bottle being opened by the mechanics -- though I do think they were already a bit tipsy from the first bottle.


See Race


Kouhia entered the main hall from his lounge, trailed by the two ladies, took a swig from the champaigne bottle and passed it on the women. Then he jumped into his Speed Beetle, face all smeared up in lipstick, waved at the girls and drove slowly to his starting position. At least he spared the tires this time!


"6th position, could be better, should be better", I thought, as the lights turned from red to green. A mediocre start but what now?! Kouhia spun 360 degrees at the first corner, burning the tyres and creating a heavy smoke cloud! Oh boy, what was that lad thinking?! Kouhia finished fifth and I asked him what on earth was he trying to accomplish with his shenanigans. He mumbled something along the lines of "impressing the girls and being preoccupied". Then he disappeared into his lounge with the ladies. In the background I could hear the mechanics accusing Silakka of cheating in poker and Helmut, the chief mechanic, cursing the damage done to Kouhia's car and saying that no insurance is going to cover for these damages.


See Race


I walked to my room, shut the door and collapsed into my chair, heaving a deep sigh. Did I already tell you, this team will be the death of me?


Reporter team A-ryhmä